Dostana

Vi gets married tomorrow morning and strangely, I feel calm. Maybe a little hollow as well. All this while, I figured it would happen to us someday. But even nowI feel its not the right time, I do not want to let go. Just yet.
(Hey Vi! I know I know my exact words were “Shut Up and get married” but it was the right thing to do and all that blah). I cant believe I’m spouting all this gyan when ahem my exact words 5 years back were :-

18/12/2003 12:18
To:
cc :
Subject : me jittery

Hello Vi!,
I still have lots to do.But am gonna chuck most.I have to accept I CANT do it.There is just so much that I can mug:(.Im getting nauseous.I have this familiar sense of having to mug,reminds me of coll.U silly thing,why the hell are u in 2loos(errr … she went onsite to a place called Toulouse in France) when yr supposed to be here to cheer me up(glares at you).To this ur gonna reply
"U will manage fine "No I shant manage fine, stamps feet.and yr marriage plan ----------BAD IDEA
And oh I dreamt of u yesterday.U were getting married to that guy u said ud meet after u come back.I think I hate him already:(

Ahem.Post 5 years , my punctuations have improved and I sound a lot less like a fresh out of college kid. :) .Every other emotion still remains.
I had so many things that I wanted to pen down in this post. But strangely , I feel I’m on mute.Like the wise man said , “Do not speak unless you can improve the silence”.But who listens to wise men , anyway!So here goes!

Lalbagh , early morning walks , sandwich sessions at South Hall , Bike rides to places that were termed “ Shopaholic’s heaven’ only to discover newspaper advertisements can be bought , saree picking for ethnic day , classmate’s wedding , neighbor’s dog’s 54th day anniversary , parceling Vidyarthi bhavan’s masala dosas because the seating queue was longer , shampoo (curly - bouncy -damage control) /serum hunting , I-want-to –find-a-hairdresser-who-maintains-length-gives-fab-cut-that-is-maintianable hunting,I-have-to-have-this-dress/top/material/kurta-coz-its-the-best-thing-that-happened-to-me-after-chocolate/coffee only to have it turned into ‘casual chilling wear I wear to Lalbagh’ the very next month, Urgent phone calls to each other asking for drops to Koramangala ‘coz the feet (the bike) had gone servicing,Tongue in cheek exchange of glances when either meets the other’s project manager while on a visit to the workplace, “Do you think grey goes better with pink/peach or does maroon go with bottle green” conversations, reliving exam nights , project nightmares , talking non-stop about Viv’s crushes , talking about Viv,Shopping for Viv and sending him approving glances coz he bought whatever we ordered him to , wiping off a tiny tear when Viv sailed off on his shiny-grey-bike on the last day he was in India,Chattering with the PPP and never ever wondering if she/us made any sense and whether we were chattering about the same thing,… worrying, worrying some more :), never ever talking about ‘life’ and ‘what’ it had in store for us , we surely had better things to do and oh heck , it wasn't for us to decide.. all this and so many many more. They will all be missed. For some time … till you’re back , Vi.:)

Here’s wishing you a very happy married life and here’s wishing you everything that's lovely , great and out of the world!

Signing off with lines from one of the recent songs I love listening to

Tu hai to
Ulti pulti baatein
Seedhi lagti hain
Tu hai to jhoote moote waade
Dushman ke iraade
Sachhe lagte hain
Jo dil mein taare waare de jaga
Wo tu hi hai tu hi hai
Jo rote rote de hansa
Tu hi hai wohi

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai to I ll be all right
I ll be all right
I ll be all right

College

This weekend I went back to my old college.

(Inspired heavily by the opening line of Rebecca)

Down the familiar lane I went, the bike jerking around a little almost like it was fussing “Where have you brought me mistress? , I’ve never been this way before”
True , the last I went down this lane , I had had my old bike , my friend of 7 years. Now , he was a toughie , he knew that he had to heave him self down with a puncture right in front of the mechanic’s garage , he had to run until he exhausted his last drop of petrol a safe 100 meters from a petrol bunk!Ahh the red bikes of today, spoilt, I tell ya! Gimme my old Kinetic any day!

“Parking for students” the board screamed.. there used to be a WELL here! That used to be filled by a motor! Mother of all Ironies!

I sauntered along into the main gate, I forget which was the last time I walked into a building without involuntarily flashing an access card…

The old workshop

Carpentry, Welding, Sheet Metal, Filing

Semester 1

RM in a khaki workshop dress looking around stealthily to see if there were any seniors around to rag her.

Sadistic sauntering senior: “Hello”

RM: *Panic stricken face*

SSS: “Which semester are you in?”

RM: “Been here long enough, am in the second semester!”

RM runs, stumbling on the rocks, clutching her black bag and her beloved Dovetail joint

Khandala

Our pet name for the building that never got built while we studied there. A large building that was open on all sides, we used to be served food there during fests .. Show your ID card, get a lunch coupon and get served bad food!

Fest times remind me of the treasure hunt that we went to. S and I almost reached another city by the time we figured “Zen speaks” referred to Zen motors that was a km away. We came back to the starting point a good hour later than the others and had the gall to yell at everybody that our bikes had lower horse power than the guys’ and it was unfair to declare a guy a winner!

Fest times also meant that the deadline to reach home was stretched a little to 10 PM. This was the time when the gang of hooligans I studied with mutated and developed strange strains of chivalry. They would valiantly fight to escort us to a harmless coffee stall at 6 in the evening, talk to the parents and say

“Hello Aunty! This is R, RM’s friend”

To which the mother would reply: “Which one is this?”

R: “I’ll make sure she reaches home safely Aunty, do not worry”

PPP: “Yes, R, tell her to study well also, her marks are worrying me more”

R: “ yes yes tch tch”

RM: “ Ok , wait , I’ll call your Ma!”

And how could I forget that kid who got drunk and kept throwing mud over himself while yelling out “Who’s that! Who’s that throwing mud on me!”

I watched, fascinated, from my safe fortress, two big burly shoulders in front and a tinier one next to me. Good, Vi was watching the fun too...

And then there was V. It was the day of the FEST! And there he was , sitting ALONE! My heart bled for him. Poor V! Why was he ALONE! His troubles reached unimaginable proportions in my head and I ran towards him, Bharat Mata Ishtyle , whatever it was he could tell me , RM, the savior of everybody who was alone on the day of a fest!

V: “Err Hi”

RM *Plonking herself next to him and gifting him with a thump on the back*: “ We are all sitting there”

V: “ I saw”

R saunters in

R: “He’s taken the shabhari mala thing …he’s sitting here ‘coz you’re not supposed to touch women when you take it up”

V: “Oh let her be, she’s just a kid”

I can’t remember another time when I’ve felt so happy and so miserable at the same time …

Dental block

Almost Bermuda triangle like. We were forbidden to venture into the Dental Block … “Go there if you wish to have your hall ticket confiscated” was the unsaid rule.

So what did Vi and I do? We went there after the last exam of that semester.

RM: “Are you scared?”

Vi: “Not yet , if you are , we could go back”

RM*gulp*: “I’m never scared”

Vi: “hey , isn’t that the ’tronics HOD?”

RM*gapes*: “The big fat cheat ,Vi! Maybe they have illegal dealings here that they don't want us to find out…smuggling maybe?”

Vi: “ No idiot , he’ll recognize us and that’ll be the end of it all …. RUN”

The Office Block

RM:“I want my hall ticket , number 9888923”

Attender:“Shortage Ide” (You have shortage)

RM: “What shortage”

Attender: “What can it be? Petrol?”

Turned out EnE lecturer marked me absent for 15 classes ALL of which I attended! And she, obviously unaware of my plight chose that time to go on maternity leave.

RM: “That lady!! Horrid lady! I sat through all her $%$ classes!”

T: “Hush, don’t use bad words, she’s pregnant!”

RM: “Sure, I hope there’s something called divine retribution and someone flunks her kid!”

As it turned out, she lived pretty close to college and I could get a signature from her. Hall ticket nightmares drive people into doing crazy things. Like knocking on 35 doors to find out if a pregnant EnE lady resided there (I didn’t know her name either)

College had its share of surprises and shocks as well. Like the girl who asked the Trig lecturer WHY Sin (0) =0.After 3 years of Trig, there should be some things that you should give up on, right? Well, what do you know my friend, Princeton; yes yes, the last I heard of her, she was doing her MS at Princeton. And how about the guy who had a zillion crushes, got into at least 3 scrapes a week? Heppily married like they say. Yes, with a child in tow!

Like I’ve always said, college is my happy place. A place that is associated with happy thoughts-Of youth, of dreams, of ambitions, of innocence, of life and most of all, of friendship. A place where what I wanted was no different from what could be. A place of many firsts and many lasts. My happy place :)

The K factor

Met K online today after almost 2 months. He’s scored 99% in his USMLE and is already in the land of a million opportunities. And guess what , he’s studying in a place that's very close to the Altoids’.K , in the very remote possibility that you landed up at my blog , congratulations !:)(for landing here , of course)

Ok ,whos K , you ask? And you look indignant too? That I haven’t ever mentioned a K in my blog ? He’s my old old friend , probably known him for 8 years. I met him online on Yahoo , he was a mad medico and I was a budding-semester-exam-fearing Engineer.Like Anton Chekov aptly said “Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a common
hatred for something.” And our pet grievance? Exams, Telephone bills , Exam results!

God! Sometimes I’m amazed as to how stupid I could have been! Imagining chatting till the middle of the night with strange people and running huge telephone bills! Come exam time and I would make 3 minute appearances in the chat room- it served as a stress buster , where people didn't know me , people wouldn't care if I scored badly , people who were normal compared to myself- I had a huge exam looming in front of me.

You don't really blame me , do you? Come on , I was all of 19 with not a shred of responsibility in me!

It was then that K and I decided to exchange phone numbers and break the barrier of anonymity. Calling each other once a day became a regular feature. He would regale me with rather merry instances of how he got to see someone’s rather green spleen, an extremely infected appendicitis (referred to as a very rare specimen),he would with great gusto offer to bottle up the specimen so that his dear chat friend wouldn't miss out on the good things in life.
I would ramble on :
“ K , I have a DSP exam tomorrow , 5 hours of sleep enough?”
And K would go , “4 hours is a-plenty for the human body”
“K , you ass , I almost slept through the entire exam!”
“The human body is unique , what works for one doesn't work for another”
“Yes , you’re an exceptional ass!”

And the day K received his medical degree , all hell broke loose! He wrote in font size 32 , bold and in red in the chat room about how from now on he should be referred to as “Dr.K” .K had such cheap thrills! I remember once when I called him and he’d forced his Mom to pick up the phone .i said “Hey auntie , is K there?” And poor Auntie had to say “No , but Dr.K is around!”

K then told me he was going to leave for the UK to pursue his studies. I gifted him a laughing Buddha (symbolizes good luck) and we had a huge chat in Casa Picola , it was then that he told me he planned to come back to India after he was 40 to open a centre for the Diabetics! God save them!

And know what the best part of this friendship is? That I don't need to be constantly in touch with him or update him on what’s happening in my life .On the rare occasion that I catch him online , or on the rarer occasion that he calls up , we talk , freely , without any discomfiture , about what happened , what we think will happen , and about who earns more(its always him :() , who should treat who the next time we meet and so on..

So K , I hope you do atrociously as a Doctor and you return to India with your tail between your legs. I will guarantee you a merry jig and a free Pizza when you do !

It happened one night

I simply have to find a dermatologist nearer home, I thought. It’s ridiculous to be stuck in a thunderstorm at 7PM, with no call booth in the vicinity, no electricity and that too in a low-lying part of the city. I looked with dread at the rising level of water under the railway bridge , there would be NO way my rickety kinetic could wade through that water , it wouldn’t start after that , and I would be doomed to be stranded in the pouring rain 15 Kms away from the warmth and safety of home .Why ! Why did I have to be this brainless?(Genes! Screamed my head , all coz of Amma!)

I looked mournfully at the crowd that had collected under the measly shelter to find a cheesy ruffian winking at me. Sigh...Right then, I found somebody jolting my shoulder and I turned around to give the guy a piece of my mind, rain be damned.

“Oi?” was precisely what escaped from my mouth.

“R!!” said a familiar friendly voice

“Oi?”

Here , I must add that I associate people with places. Anybody I see outside of context is regarded with extreme terror and a prolonged freezing of the face into a look of horror.

“Judging by the expression , it HAS to be you , R!!”

“S! Where! When !Here? How!”

The initial excitement ebbed away to be replaced by discomfort. I could bear the silence no more.

Well, where have you been all this while? You just disappeared all of a sudden didn’t you? Its been five years? I asked.S shuffled her feet uncomfortably .I couldn’t help but notice the huge red bindi that kinda cried out “I’m married! I’m married!” and the mangal sutra that looked more like a golden shackle. You got married? I yelled accusingly ,And you didn’t even call me?

S tried to pacify me by patting my shoulder rhythmically whilst moving her hand up and down frantically. By then, the rain had subsided and the vehicles were clearing up. I offered to drop S home after a cup of coffee.

A little while later , we were comfortably seated in a cozy little garden café .The trees swished their branches softly to shed the little drops of water off their leaves , the birds emerged from their hiding places and the squirrels came peeping out of their holes. Bangalore looked very much at peace with itself,rather like it was saying , there , that wasn’t very bad was it?. A very ideal setting for shared confidences.

It was then that it occurred to me that , just maybe S didn’t want to tell me the whole story . I don’t know what it was, I think if you grow up with a person, spend years with them, you just feel these things. I knew she didn’t want to talk.

We walked out of the café , with her hand on my shoulder whilst I chattered on about my studies , my tuitions , my crushes and my dance.

Yes , as long as it feels the same , nothing else matters.