Meet Dee

Hullo all.

I got news for you. Errm.. I'm getting married in a month's time.
He be from Tamizhland.We constantly have Nanna Bengalooru ;Namma Metro versus Singara Chennai fights.Well,amongst other fights.

Meet Dee -->

The latest addition to the zoo.



PS:I'm scared.

Mera number kab ayega?

Ah.Hello there.Saary Saary for the long absence.It was because I had nothing spectacular to write about.No,I don't mean to say that I normally do.Well, will you just continue reading already!!

Here's what happened.This weekend I was driving to work(Yes , i agree.What a horrendous thing to be doing).There was a Board PreInt issue which needed immediate looking into.Why? Because if we didn't resolve the issue , then my company would lose out on a delivery that its competitors made three years back.Do you get the urgency now?

Ok.Good.So as I was driving to work , I remembered I had to join a conference call.I dialled the toll free number with one hand while the other was trying to steer."Please punch in the pass code" said the disembodied voice.And I punched it in.And waited."Sorry!! Wrong passcode..Bye!!" she said.Wash.Rinse.Repeat.After about 4 iterations , I realised that irritating disembodied voice might actually be right in what she was screeching.I re-scanned the passcode 5-3-6-5-0.

Oh...OHHH..Oh!! This was the SMS number for Radio ONE..India's ONLY music station!!

To whomsoever it may concern ..

that I often wonder who you are :).Lets keep the mystery alive , but why don't you leave a comment, anon if you like ?

Of managers and fatherhood

A mail from SRC's manager to their team went thus :

Hi All

X and his wife have become proud parents of Twins (Boy and Girl) today.

X, Hearty Congratulations on becoming a father of both boy and girl at the same time.(what the???)

Errm.. so this is like saying Congrats , X , with this release , you have managed to deliver Feature A and Feature B?? Did you like work it out? Now.. hmm let me think .. which is the most optimized way of having children?Eureka! What if it were to be a boy and a girl at the same time?? Oru kallula rendu manga!! (One stone , two mangoes!)

Sheesh!

Of thoughtful ex-colleagues

I love Fridays.The day ends with a lovely feel to it especially with the prospect of not having to see one's co-workers for at least 48 more hours.

And in all this , a innocuous little message pops up on the mobile screen.From an ex-colleague.After several odd months.In broken tamil.
"Eppidi Irukku? Naan Inge Bangalore vanthachu.Stomach eppidi?"

And you smile.The radio breaks into "Bhanwara mann".The signal turns green and the little car skips along , you glance at the rear view mirror and see a happy goofy face.Sometimes having a grueling week makes that particular Friday worth it all the more.

The song is from Hazaaron khwahishen Aisi..

hazaron khwahishen aisi ki har khwaish pe dam nikle
bahut nikle mere arman lekin phir bhi kam nikle
-Mirza Ghalib

Current reads

For the longest time , To kill a Mocking Bird had been my favorite read.At the impressionable age of 16 , it left me with a startling visual.The Help by Kathryn Stockett , pretty much does the same.It nudges its way into your mind unobtrusively as it may seem in the beginning, and before you know it the characters are a part of your life.Set in the early sixties , its about Afro American maids working for white households , in Jackson Mississippi.

The writing is powerful , undoubtedly.It requires a great deal of literary prowess to be able to put your point across without seeming too pushy , especially on a difficult subject such as this.A must read.The book is being made into a movie apparently.I have my own doubts if it will be as good.

I'm currently into my fourth volume of Alexander McCall Smith's
The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency series.Give it a miss if you're into heavy reading.The language is simple.Endearing,even.Reading them is like sipping on hot tomato soup while being tucked into a warm bed.To give you a background , this series is based on "Precious Ramotswe" who has her own detective agency.She, along with her assistant "Grace Makutsi" help solve the problems that the people in their village approach them with.Ramotswe's answer all issues is to follow the suspect :D.Man cheating on his wife? Follow him , get friendly with him in the bar , click pictures with him and voila , the case is resolved.
Client is very sad , but the wife is very happy.Follow the wife and find her having an extra marital affair.Don't tell the client because that'l make him unhappy.Give wife the clean chit.Man happy.Say Fini.
Client comes asking for more details about her estranged family.Follow the lady back to her house and ask around in the neighborhood!Re-unite her with her "brother" only to find out he's not!Turns out in the end they discover that they actually like each other enough to get married.

What you do take home from the book is the fact that sometimes you don't really need to create an aha moment to make people smile.Sometimes happiness lies in the simplest of things.

"I am an African, not because I was born in Africa but because Africa is born in me."

-Nkwame Nkrumah

My cousin A

Today I happened to talk to my cousin A after a very long time.A is JC's son.
I had had a long tiresome day behind me and it was a welcome change to hear that A was getting his visa done to Bangladesh.Get me something from there A , a souvenir of sorts said I.Pat came the reply "I'll find poor hungry people , shall i bring back some?".
Bah.Sarcasm must run in the family.

The standing joke in A's office is that his boss-man throws darts randomly on the world map while deciding A's travel destination , the imperative word being random.A couple of months back , A was asked to make a business trip to Guatemala.A landed , and after the customary garland ritual(??), he found himself being escorted to a plush five star.A found himself thawing.Boss-man wasn't so bad after all , he thought.After a king sized lunch , A wandered into the lobby and asked the hotel manager for a list of places to see and shop at.He must've walked 10 feet out of the hotel and before he knew it , he got mugged.

A confused A ran back into the hotel and related the incident to the hotel manager who nodded calmly and said "Yes, that happens.Next time take only 100 dollars , nothing more."
A , who must also inherit the pig headedness from the family ventured out again.This time , he made it till Curio shop.The owner said he had some rare pieces in the room behind , and asked A to accompany him.And mugged him.

A hurried back to the hotel manager who said , yes calmly "Yes, that happens.Never enter the rooms inside".

A third time , A set out.I don't whose nagging had been worse , mine or his sister's.He had walked about 100 feet , when he heard shooting and gunmen.He was standing amidst a gang war.
.....

"How was the trip A ?" I asked, handing him a cup of coffee."What did you bring back?"

"My life" he said.

igoogle

Yet another SRC post , for the lack of anything better to say.Maybe you guys could tell me what to post about next? What say ? :)

Meanwhile ,here goes yet another post-lunch conversation with SRC ..

Seren:bhams is wearing lemon green(Bhams==Manager)
SRC:yeah bhams wore something interesting yest also
SRC:bhams has a new person in his life i think
Seren:Life begins at 50..
Seren:whenever i type a doubt in google
Seren:like say , "how do i share memory between two cores"
Seren:google gives me a drop down menu with
Seren:"how do i get pregnant"!?
Seren:"How did i GET pregnant" !?
Seren:wth?!
SRC:LOL!
SRC:ppl grep for that!?
Seren:yeah!
Seren:u type how and u get it
SRC:i got options like 'how do i know am pregnant'
Seren:see?
SRC:yes i saw
SRC:apparently they r the most searched for options,so if we search for 'how do i share mem between cores' about a hundred times each day, its priority might rise a bit and a week later it might show up in the list in the 8/9 position
Seren:You think? :D
Seren:Then we could overthrow this person who thinks "how" is synonymous with pregnancy..
Seren:Hey ..do you think we could apply for a patent with this idea..come!lets call that arora woman who does the patent thing!!
SRC :The one whose car u scratched?
Seren :Focus , please
.....

.....
The company's share prices are currently 2.54$ , this might be why you think?

Mera naam Joker

Friday.A day to think and wear out of the box.Now , being an ardent Fab India fan and also considering Bangiland's soaring temperatures , I picked out my most recent buy from FI.A pair of Kalamkari trousers and a plain brown kurti.
And this is how the day went.

Legend: has it that...ok sorry for the baaad joke :D
SRC:Of this fame

Seren:me is in my clown outfit
SRC :wat is a clown outfit?
SRC :can i match it ?
Seren:yes pleasse...
SRC :how bad is it?
Seren:sigh
Seren:everyones staring
SRC :that happens in a sari also
SRC :which is not clown
Seren:well
Seren:i can bet its not the same
Seren:theyre different stares
Seren:like omg whats this
Seren:experimentation is so wasted here
SRC :ok wat exactly r u wearing?
Seren:fab india pants
SRC :dont tell me salmon pink skirt
SRC :aah ok
Seren:and fab india kurti
SRC :now i cant get that
SRC :its arty classy...
Seren:really??
Seren:so its clown like coz the bottoms printed
Seren:and the tops plain
SRC :leave it ...its wayy above the average heads we have here
Seren:its loose and comfy
SRC :i used to hv one like this!!
Seren:yeah so find it!!
SRC :the bottom had fish painted on it
Seren:fasstt find it..!
SRC :i made pants for my son with it
Seren:can u bring him?
Seren:..in it?
SRC :no, i come to office to get away remember?
Seren:this is what happens when i listen to u!
Seren:on the rare occasion that i do
SRC :sigh i dont have anything to match it
SRC :i wish i had red pants
Seren:ok so ur like going to come normally?
Seren:maybe they might stare lesser if i took off the pants
Seren:?
SRC ::D

Yeah while we are still on SRC.. apparently somebody stole her Dads Scorpio.. and the Police people(as she put it) have traced it to a....BOAT in Kerala.She plans to "investigate" by bribing the boatmen with toddy whilst peering into each engine.

Yes , I wonder why I listen to her.

The tale of two poles

Legend:
North Pole:Dad
South Pole:Ma

It is the month of April - When SP's students celebrate their well deserved summer vacation and turn 180 degrees wherever they happen to spot SP.Needless to say , this has rendered SP bored and what does she do to give vent to her pent up emotions? Nag NP.

SP:"After 30 odd years of being married , you would think we would be doing something together , wouldn't you?"
NP:" Hmm .. Amar Singh is being unreasonable"
SP: "Maybe its because he doesn't go anywhere with his wife"
Np: "Hmm.."
SP: " Let me call Amit and see if he's wasting away his summer without studying"

The next day , NP came home laden with two passes to the yearly Ramanavami Concerts held at the Fort High School.He loves music and even goes to bed with the CD player humming in the background.The competitive streak in SP was suitably aroused.She came hurrying to me with a pained expression and an ipod in tow.

SP:"You have to help me"
Me:" Errmm.. see I can't promise you anything"
SP: "Please download all songs in Hamsadwani for me , so that when it plays I will recognize the raaga instantly"
Me: "Wouldn't it be easier to see the brochure?"
SP: " Would it would it?"
Me: "Sigh.Ok"

On the first day of the concert , as I was trudging back from work,I was duly greeted by SP and NP who were at the front door poised for a sprint.
Me: "But I told you guys I had the key! Why didn't you leave?"
SP and NP:" Lock the doors , DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR STRANGERS, Peep before you speak etc etc"
Me:"Sigh.Ok..Shooo now"

About 15 minutes later , I got an SMS.It was from SP.It was cryptic.It went "Hi".
I messaged her back wondering what in the world she could be up to "hiing" away in a concert.She replied with a "Flash message".
Did you know there was that option?? I didn't!
I said I had received her flash message, but why wasn't she listening to the concert and why was was fidgeting around with her cell.
She replied "^^^^^^^".
What?? I said."^^^^^^^" came the reply.
I gave up and called her."Hullo" she whispered sinisterly." Ma , what did you say"
"ooohh !" she said sounding extremely kicked." I sent you a message in tamil , did you get it?"
"Ma , does Appa know you're not listening to his precious concert?"
"Yes , he is now replying to my messages in tamil.Do you want to speak to him??Also , please come and pick me up in 10 minutes..Bye ..!"

Of late , my Dad sends me flash messages from the concert.SP has convinced him that the concert is an audio only concert , and the hands could do with some exercise.

Lord , save me.

More pole tales here.