The K factor

Met K online today after almost 2 months. He’s scored 99% in his USMLE and is already in the land of a million opportunities. And guess what , he’s studying in a place that's very close to the Altoids’.K , in the very remote possibility that you landed up at my blog , congratulations !:)(for landing here , of course)

Ok ,whos K , you ask? And you look indignant too? That I haven’t ever mentioned a K in my blog ? He’s my old old friend , probably known him for 8 years. I met him online on Yahoo , he was a mad medico and I was a budding-semester-exam-fearing Engineer.Like Anton Chekov aptly said “Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a common
hatred for something.” And our pet grievance? Exams, Telephone bills , Exam results!

God! Sometimes I’m amazed as to how stupid I could have been! Imagining chatting till the middle of the night with strange people and running huge telephone bills! Come exam time and I would make 3 minute appearances in the chat room- it served as a stress buster , where people didn't know me , people wouldn't care if I scored badly , people who were normal compared to myself- I had a huge exam looming in front of me.

You don't really blame me , do you? Come on , I was all of 19 with not a shred of responsibility in me!

It was then that K and I decided to exchange phone numbers and break the barrier of anonymity. Calling each other once a day became a regular feature. He would regale me with rather merry instances of how he got to see someone’s rather green spleen, an extremely infected appendicitis (referred to as a very rare specimen),he would with great gusto offer to bottle up the specimen so that his dear chat friend wouldn't miss out on the good things in life.
I would ramble on :
“ K , I have a DSP exam tomorrow , 5 hours of sleep enough?”
And K would go , “4 hours is a-plenty for the human body”
“K , you ass , I almost slept through the entire exam!”
“The human body is unique , what works for one doesn't work for another”
“Yes , you’re an exceptional ass!”

And the day K received his medical degree , all hell broke loose! He wrote in font size 32 , bold and in red in the chat room about how from now on he should be referred to as “Dr.K” .K had such cheap thrills! I remember once when I called him and he’d forced his Mom to pick up the phone .i said “Hey auntie , is K there?” And poor Auntie had to say “No , but Dr.K is around!”

K then told me he was going to leave for the UK to pursue his studies. I gifted him a laughing Buddha (symbolizes good luck) and we had a huge chat in Casa Picola , it was then that he told me he planned to come back to India after he was 40 to open a centre for the Diabetics! God save them!

And know what the best part of this friendship is? That I don't need to be constantly in touch with him or update him on what’s happening in my life .On the rare occasion that I catch him online , or on the rarer occasion that he calls up , we talk , freely , without any discomfiture , about what happened , what we think will happen , and about who earns more(its always him :() , who should treat who the next time we meet and so on..

So K , I hope you do atrociously as a Doctor and you return to India with your tail between your legs. I will guarantee you a merry jig and a free Pizza when you do !

Found at the entrance to Transit.


If a stray packet of chips is found , ULP! it will be incarcerated!

A burger found? It will punished to solitary confinement and where its internal parts will rot slowly and painfully...

A hot dog found? Oops! It will be hung upside down and whipped mercilessly!

Really? What with the helmet check , the check-for-the-parking-ticket, the check-if-you-have-outside-food, check if-you-are-armed ..they expect you to smile?Waitamin they forgot something vital! yes , yes! The sanity check ! For having visited the Forum on a weekend!It was all I could do to stop myself from running pell-mell shouting "Get out of my waaaaay!"

Ok , now we're done with ranting.

Watched Chak De India. Shahrukh Khan.No histrionics , very well made , powerful , has a feel to it , makes you want to learn hockey , in the end I wanted to stand up and salute. Good.

"For once , he has acted sensibly and he isn't laughing around vacuously and singing with knitted brows!" said Amma. Methinks Amma should take up criticism as a full-time job. I do not for the life of me know how she is proclaimed to be a "darn good teacher" by her students.Incidentally , a battery of students mobbed her at the Forum.She grinned around good naturedly while Vi and I patiently waited near the exit for Mrs Congeniality to join us.

Weekday musing

For all those of who spent sleepless nights over how my first day at a new work place would go(*Beams around*) , we have done you proud! It went really well , people .Nice place , Warm people , wonderful coffee , God's in his heaven , all's right with the world!

I decided to decorate my cubicle with all kinds of stuff that my friends gifted me .


Item # 1 : Confused Ganeshu
Gifted to me by Vi.This little Ganeshu can make the hardest of hearts melt.It looks at you with such sorrowful eyes(Rather likes its blaming you for its twisted trunk)
Note to self : Item to be thrust into the manager's face whenever aforementioned self in trouble






Item # 2 :Enchanted Cup
Also gifted to me by Vi.
It reads
"Take a sip from this enchanted cup
And make a wish for yourself,
If all else fails ,
There is a wish
Just a messenger click away!"

Which summarizes all our pre-coffee , pre/post lunch , pre-dinner chats et all.Beautifully penned and even more wonderful to have :).

Some other wonderful things adorning my cubicle- A pink pen stand from Akki , A Sai Baba table piece gifted by Altoid , and then , what do you know , My Mom's greatest gift to mankind -ME!

Although , the ride to here is probably the beetle in the icing(now I'm inventing idioms yoohoo!).I simply HAVE to leave home at 8:30 AM , which would mean I would have to get up by 6 , hit the gym ,return by 730 and set off at the aforementioned time(You will find this word a lot in my posts , I simply adore it , sounds intellectual and Victorian at the same time!)

Stuff nightmares are made of

"Dear RM , this is with reference to your resignation from the position of Director , Wireless Communication group ... " read my relieving letter.

"EH? Ki hoya??"

RM storms back to the HR and thrusts her relieving letter into the hands of a sleepy HR.Agreed , I do not expect you to personally type out every relieving letter and there exists something called a "format".But just 'cause the previous resignation was that of a director and you were too lazy to click "Do not save changes " , I get to be Direktor? Seriously? Too much!

I have been unemployed for the last 48 hours and I have mixed reactions to this state , and please add nightmares too.

Thoughts running in my head

RM in a starched cotton salwar sporting a new stylized (read lots of goo in the hair) cut.

RM : " Hello !"
New company HR (opening new company door):"Who's this?"
RM:*Scared face*
New company HR:*BANG*

Or what about the nightmare of last night.
*One huge nightmare bubble Start:*
Mom:*Smile*
Maybe the nightmare bubble should start here?
Me:*Confused grin heh heh*
Mom:"The guy's folks have come to see you"
Me: "Who guy"
Mom:"Tamil Matrimony number M7112221111"
Me *Edging on hysteria*:"SO???Is this a new trend ?? Window shopping??"
Mom *Sickly smile and gritting teeth*:"He's a PhD in nanotechnology"
Me:"Who"
Mom:"The Dad"
Me:"So you are giving me away to the Dad now?"
Mom *Gritting teeth*:"No , just imagine what the boy would have studied"
Me:...

~~~~~*******###### (These parts of the nightmare are hazy)

In the next scene , the boy 's parents have convinced mine that there should be a small engagement ceremony after which they would proceed to see another girl(No No , this wasn't the scary part of the nightmare, pliss to trudge along)

So , now boy and I are engaged and my parents are preparing to send me off in a bullock cart with them.And we're headed to the next girl's house.

No , all you curious cats , I don't remember the boy's face!(Do you blame me?)

The boy's mom looks at all the marapachi dolls in the display and tells Mom to pack them all up .They would later decide which girl their boy would marry.

Sounds of wailing fill the air..
Me:" Amma! How could you! "*WAAAAAAAHHH*"
Mom :"Its ok , what can we do about it"
Me:"How could you give away Paati's marapachis to total strangers ! She loved them like they were her kin" *WAAAAH*

~~~~~~*****####

*End of nightmare bubble*


All this 'cause Mom and I were clearing up the landing and we found a pair of Marapachis in all their grandeur lying in a box.

I will be back to work starting next Wednesday , until then , I shall nightmare along merrily!

:)

Tagged!

I have been tagged by Altoid to list 8 things about myself.So here goes nothing..

1. I’m a sucker for natural cures. More so if you tell me you found them in the Himalayas. Which is why I bought 3 huge packets of “wonder hair herb” while on a trip to Thirunelveli.Which is also why I pay a small fortune to my ayurvedic doctor who incidentally is the only person who says I look radiant and “cured”.
2. I hate reading the newspaper, its something I’ve never ever done. I wouldn’t know the Prime Minister from the Chief Minister, unless erm... a central/state holiday was declared because they happened to go to the land of no return. I know, I know! Will work on this one.
3. I love imitating people. The milkman, the post woman, oh-so-many relatives -and that too in the presence of an august audience –enthusiastic sister, suspicious Mom (Is she going to do me next?) and an amused Dad.
4. I hate intellectual snobbery.So you’ve read Kafka , and that Neruda guy , So?? I swear by Enid Blyton and Richmal Crompton , go hang!
5. I would like to call myself a “laidback person” probably Alto and Mom would like to translate that to “bone-lazy”
6. I love being the youngest. Seriously, there’s nothing like it! This is also why I abhor all the juniors at my work place!
7. I have transitory addictions. Right now , I’m into chamki and embroidery.Last week I wore a embroidered +Chamkied top and a embroidered +Chamkied pair of jeans.So if you were to appear in front of me , I’d more often than not chamki you.So beware!
8. When we were kids and we used to play Monopoly , I would hate winning and hoarding all the moolah.I’d reduce the rent for everybody who landed on my cities much to the chagrin of the Banker.Yes , we love underdogs!

*Drumroll*

I pass the tag to liferocks and Misunderstood!

The rules :-

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
4. If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach Third Series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes. (what does it mean?)

TV trouble

Ring out the old, ring in the new said Tennyson but I hardly feel happy parting with things that have served me loyally for a long time. Same feelings felt when my old BPL TV let out a final shudder before blacking out forever. While I was skulking around mourning the loss of an old friend, I found myself being subjected to my Mom’s rather caustic tongue.

“Don’t be an idiot. It’s just a TV for god’s sake”
“Yeah, Yeah” I leered. “How’d you like it if I were to turn you out of the house ‘cause you were getting ole and rickety”
“Altoid’s right. We really did pick you from the gutter. With that logic you simply CANT be my kin”
*Scared Face*

Luckily for us, the man from the orphanage happened to be visiting us that weekend, which was not very surprising actually. Last month, Mom had generously donated an old grinder and an older sewing machine. Can’t really blame the guy for having had a mental note of the number of appliances that were falling apart in our house.

Man:*You MUST help orphans smile*
Mom: “Come in, I have a TV for you, and please hurry up”
Man :*( Thought bubble) This lady is kind AND efficient, must put her in red, bold and in capitals in the donors list*
Man disappears saying he would be back armed with a tempo.

Meanwhile, the lion had stirred in his den: My Dad was just coming to his senses after a long siesta.
Dad (Opening the door): “Yes?”
Man: “We have come for the TV, sir”
Dad: “Who?”
Mom (glaring at the man for coming in at an inopportune moment): “Please take it away, FAST (gritting teeth)”
Dad (glaring at the man): “We are not giving you any TV”
Mom (glaring at the man): “Yes, we are!”
Dad: “Woman, if I were to sit in a corner with arthritis, I’d hate to think of what you’d do to me!”

Hah!! That proves oh so clearly that we aren’t from the gutter.

Anyway, I had Vi and Viv coming over to help me get a new TV to fill up the *sniff* void.
Me: “Wow, these LCD TV’s look awesome”
Vi: “Yeah… totally groovy”
Viv: “So what’s the budget? Philips, Sony, Onida.. which?”
Me: (How just like a guy to cut to the facts) “ Umm ..Sony?”
Viv (Dragging Vi and I to the Sony section): “ Ok , which one of these?”
Me: “Vi , how about this silver one?”
Vi: “Yeah! Would so totally go with the peach wall”
Viv(looking totally peeved): “ Ladies , any TV would come in 2 colors , please decide the woofer , output power , home theatre output yadda yadda”
Me : “I pick the blackish grey because it’s the cheapest and it doesn’t hit my eye like the silver”
Vi: “Yeah, what’ll she do with the woofer and all that yarn, anyway. I pick the grey too!”

So the blackish grey it was :-). IF only picking clothes was this easy!

Sigh.

Week Update

Time to move on to newer pastures. I have given in my notice in the hell-hole and the feeling is just too damn good. I yam jesht loving it.

Now, everybody from the Director to the sweeper wants to have a talk with a certain RM who had the audacity to say “NO” to exploitation. I’m like the Jhansi Ki Rani minus horse minus a lot of courage plus a red colored Pleasure. The number of cups of coffee and tea over which I have explained the “thought process that provoked such dire measures” are staggering.

I am finally reaping the rewards of coming to work at 6 A.M in a rickety auto and an empty stomach. While everyone’s slogging with my share of the work , I , on the other hand have managed to put aside “The Malory Towers” and the “The St. Clares” series to my list of re-reads. Ebooks zindabad!

An added advantage with Ebooks is that they can pass off so easily as “White papers from IEEE”. You just need to view it in a “Century Gothic size 10” and have a notepad handy. Voila!

Needless to say, I have been blog-hopping and have managed to discover two new bloggers. I also took Alto’s leadership test and irrespective of the number of questions asked 9/18/17/45, I am JFK to the hilt. Apparently, we belong to the amorous power crazy category. Cut to scene in which I’m wearing a halter necked bikini top with a slinky chiffon draped around me dangerously, saying “Bharatwaasiyon ...”

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

There were plans of trekking the Himalayas with an old class-mate who was only too pleased to take me. But then, I think my interest is waning. All I want to do is lie on my bed and have endless cups of coffee and read books. While I’m on that , can you ,the handful of my readers suggest some books to me ?

Random memory that just hit me: I studied in a Convent in Mangalore and when I was around 8 , they introduced us to “Help age India” , all of us were given little piggy banks to collect money for the cause. That day, Dad’s colleague visited us and I cutely (Yes , I insist I was extremely cute) brandished the piggy in front of him. He grinned and added a 1 Re coin .Later on in the day, I again found him when I was walking with Amma and I repeated my act . He added another coin, though I rather thought his smile had faded a wee bit. Later in the night, I espied him chatting with Dad in the verandah. I repeated my act (shrewd business woman instincts surfacing), he added a 50 Rs note and said “Mr M. I will soon have to enroll in the Helpage India centre if your daughter hounds me anymore”

Which is why, I always grin at the Helpage India box in Butter Sponge and never fail to drop in some money.

Random Song playing in my head : Title track of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

I rant therefore I yam

People People People . I am sick of seeing people. All of the same size , same colored clothes , same sneakers and all in pairs(NOT the shoes).People in Bangalore tire me.Today , I somehow found myself telling a friend I'd meet her at Garuda Mall.At the entrance we were greeted by an idiotic show with a even more idiotic hostess.Ahem a "beauty" contest apparently , like the zillions were'nt enough for these people to display their inner beauty.And coming to that , what's with this weird haughty expression people walk around with? What is that look trying to prove?

Fuschia Pink anorexic girl : What is thees?
Corn guy :Corn
FPag : Oh ok , give me some without the butter or the masala , half cooked
Ok, now that sounds like Horse feed to me.

Don't people go out with friends anymore? And why am I asking you this question ? Because , we are a little antisocial and we have just "2" close friends. Whatever happened to meeting old friends at a cafe? Why is everyone wrapped around someone or the other? I'm not even sure they're wrapped around the same person for a long time ! Or maybe I'm a chip off the old block?
More than once I remember the good old days in college when a bunch of us would head to Lake View or a Barista and talk noisilly about everything under the sun and never once bother about whether our shoes matched our bags or worse , someone else's bag.Sigh.Maybe I'm growing old.Maybe there are no more interesting and good people in the world.Interesting men sounds an oxymoron.Oh so sigh.

Anyway , friend and I felt nauseous just walking there , we burst out and headed straight to Crossword.Got myself Mark Haddon's " A Spot of Bother". Now , I shalt lay meself down and proceed to read it peacefully accompanied by a cup of coffee.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

No , this is not a book review .. I do not possess the talent for it . Its about the book , the feelings that KH manages to wrench out of you and a heightened sense of responsibility towards the world we live in and finally , a prayer for all those people in Afghanistan , and all other war ridden nations in the world.
I think ,probably what hits you most are the people in it , these people are like our brothers and sisters , you see these people in every man or woman you see on the streets in India , they look like us , they eat like us , and yet they aren't safe like us.
The lesser said about the book , the better.I feel it would be belittling to say that the book is well written and the author paints a lovely picture with his words.It is for you to read , feel and find out.

To quote from the 17th century Afghani poem that the book derives its title from..

"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs.
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."

Need I say , a must read?

Wisdom cometh with a price

Apparently my wisdom teeth (All four of them , bless them all) seem to have a mind of their own.If the X-ray has to believed , theres one thats growing perpendicular to all the others , rather like a rebellious middle child.The reason why I visited the dentist , for the first time in my twenty odd years of existence was because the LLM2 (lower left molar no.2) , yes, I named them chronologically , is growing into the jaw or rather I think thats what the dentist said.
Mind boggling question no.1 : Why do dentists assume you will have a full mouthed reply to their "Coffee addict?"
"First time?" questions while they've thrust a cold poking device into your mouth?
Anyway , the dentist made up for all the torture the tooth's been giving me. He is cute and smily and curranty eyed :).No we cannot consider him since he's married and incidentally his wife also practices , so shush all you match makers.All great things in life are rich ,high caloried or married (pathetic quote and extremely cheesy ? Imol effect, my friend)

To add insult to injury , the nose decided to give in and refused to perform its normal functions and instead chose to run down like a small waterfall (the ones that you chance upon when on a trek , rather like a nameless little image of the main one :)?Now I'm describing a waterfall ??? )
A visit to the good old family doc followed."Is your mother ok ?" he asked considering my Mother visits him as often as she buys the vegetables ."Yes , doctor.She's hyperventilating thrice a week , so all's good".Apparently a case of a slight chill and a slight infection in the throat, or so he said.How would he like it if I called a heart attack a slight stoppage of blood to the heart I'd like to know.A stubborn molar and a disobedient nose are just as bad. So hmph.

Anyway, the silver lining was the purchase of Khaled Hosseini's newest , was so thrilled to spot the book in Landmark , it made the rest of the day pass less painfully , ah the book , the old non-judgemental friend.Detect a hint of bitterness there ? Yes , it calls for another post :)