The Matrimony Chronicles -II

Well , hello .Can you tell me who is the point of contact God who is in charge of matrimony? Well that some one has a SERIOUS problem with me.

So as of now,in my kitty I have 4 prospective grooms , the imperative word being prospective.We are not all that nonchalant about it as we make it out to be.Sometimes , we get interested in the said grooms.Like the other day , a conversation with PPP went as follows.

Seren: "Amma , some TamSoundingName has mailed regarding his son , says he has already talked to you"
PPP:*Looking up from her crossword* "Really ? Who is he?"
Seren:"You dont know?"
PPP:"Ohh .. yes ... is the great grandad from Gopichetti?"
Seren:"Do you think Yahoo could trace back his mail to that place? His mail doesn't really go "I am tamsounding name , great grandson of tammersoundingname from Gopichetti whose great great grandson we are searching an alliance for .."
PPP:*Looks observantly*" You are getting older and more and more bitter.."

Another went ...
PPP: "The boy wants to meet you"
Seren:"Sure, just let me know his name , I cant really go "Hi boy , me girl" "
PPP:*Looks a little concerned*"The boy said he leaves for office at 12 PM everyday"
Seren:"Ok"
PPP:"Do you think he really has a job?"
Seren:"You didnt ask him where he worked??? and I need to meet boy??

The cherry on the icing so far has been a mail that I received today.Now, my profile mentions the name of mera company shtrongesht and this is why the mail went thus ...

"You seem to be deeply embedded with the DSP's and looks like signals from me are too weak to breach the SNR levels ..."

For the uninitiated SNR stands for Signal to Noise Ratio and it basically determines the strength of a signal ...

If I have to keep polling once in a while I may have to raise interrupt again [though not indefinitely, once battery drains, signals transmissions will cease].

Dearest God-of-Matrimony,

I had asked you for a man with a sense of humor .. now did you really have to insert the word warped there? Tell me??? Tell me?

Phat

:) We never tire of this topic , no? Hug Hug! .. oh by the way i aveabadgold... pliss to move farther.

So what happened now on the matri front? So , PPP went and got 3 horoscopes matched and came.And she was referring to her little diary called Alliances for Seren to call them up.Strictly in descending order of the horo match.

PPP: "Hello ... is this Mrs.TamilSoundingName"
TSN: "Yes , indeed" (Post British Raj upbringing)
PPP: "How do you" (Not to be outdone)
TSN: "I am doing very well , how about you"
PPP: "Me too"
*Stony Silence*
PPP: "The horoscopes of Seren and your son have matched"
TSN: " Oh thats great , there's a minor clarification, though"
I looked on amusedly while "Potential post feed" flashed in my head.
TSN: " Errm .. Seren doesn't really look thin in her matri profile"
PPP: " Yes , we never said she was thin .. but she isn't fat either ..."
TSN: " Yes.. but my son is very particular that his future wife should be thin atleast before marriage , so that even if she puts on +5/10 Kgs after marriage , she will still look right.And he really does'nt want to reject a girl after meeting them"
PPP: " Alright , Mrs.TSN , I see no point in proceeding further ...good day"
TSN: " If you could give me her weight , maybe I could talk to him about it"
PPP: " Just a moment , I shall hang up ever so gently so that I could go look up on my daughter's BMI"

And who says this woman is the mother of a "daughter"??

Yes , I'm terribly glad for God's small mercies.

And we just trotted right into Seren's heart...

We just lost our heart to this lil blushing red guy .. :).YES! We bought a car! A hyundai i10 Magna ... which we can't drive too well .. but oh hell , we be soo appy!
Don't worry little car of mine , I shall protect you as much as I can , and I shall try to be as painless as possible.I feel like I'm your Ma for some odd reason ..Oh goodness , having your own child is gonna be a million times worse eh?? 3rd August will be earmarked as well

See what I got ..

First and foremost .. all the bangaloreans safe? Did you all reach home safely ?... I'm hoping I heard a loud YES.. :)

I finished embroidering this top FINALLY .. took some 3 odd months and very many spurts of enthusiasm :)

Of grooming and circuitry

Today was fun.In a 'oh its so much fun to be a girl' kinda way.I was slumbering away in the living room(The maternal Paati has come down to visit us).It was 5 something unearthly hour when my Dad decided to yank arrange chairs in the living room , a habit that he gives into whenever he has nothing better to do. In my dream parallelly , my CA at work was moving around my Form 16’s which were making similar sounds whilst saying there was no way I’d get my money refunded from the Government , what with Shahid Kapoor heading it and all.It was a dream , no? Seems to me it should’nt make sense , no?.Anyway , I shall cut the crap.

So , I resigned myself to my Father’s music and dragged myself to the washstand. Half hour later , I rushed to the gym.Saturdays are meant for circuit training.I was already 15 minutes late , by which the instructor had already briefed(soo IT softwarey) everybody about the circuit.Eighteen something people were standing around in a circle in pairs , and then I was directed to my pair ,Mr.YellowTeeShirt(YT).
YT: *Heloooo pardner smile*
Seren: *Thinks.. what do I need to do after gym … haircut , go to the auditor(better hurry since I dreamt about him and all , might be urgent)…. …… …… oh heelllooo my pair smile*
YT:*Picks up 2 mammoth dumbbells and starts working on his biceps*
Seren * Ditto*
“Next Change” shouted the instructor.
A woman in zebra pants and her friend in leopard pants are charging towards me. I look panic stricken and duck out of the way.Turns out , they’re a part of the jog-from-one-end-to-the-other team.I look around for YT.Oh there he is .. eh.. standing up and sitting down on an exercise mat.. supposedly an exercise for the posterior.This went on for sometime till we got to the 4th variation.Lunges to the side.So YT and I worked on our lunges together-together , right left right left we went in tandem.The instructor yelled out to us that we were supposed to do them in opposite directions to which YT; my man said “Oh , but we started off together and we’d like to continue this way” .The next variation involved carrying 4 exercise mats tied together from one end to another.So whilst I huffed-puffed-walked-ran my way , I’d find a friendly YT waiting patiently at the other end!It reminded me of a scene in the railway station when I’d be hurrying along with baggage to catch a moving train and YT my man would be waiting patiently for me to come!Yes , I am this girly.Anyway , I could swear to the circuit training god that we had a moment there :P
In other news , Vi and I decided to do away with the locks.And post “hair-grooming” as they call it , we didn’t look too groomed.We looked the same worse.Like a dog chewed away the ends.
There’s always coconut oil to go back to.

:P

ramble ramble

Ok , random post alert ...

<-- This was the only saving grace at 'Unwind Island' which my team mate described as a 'getaway' from the usual grind on a cloudy Friday afternoon.Coming to think of it , I wasn't in the need of a getaway especially since I'd bunked my Friday morning workout at the gym and I had sworn 2 sooka chapathis was all I'd eat for lunch.But then , Seren proposes and good reproposes and all that crap. Come 12:30 and the 20 of the team mates spill all over UN oohing and aahing at its wooden swings , bay-watch like beachball courts , 'island gazebo' , ' summer benches' .. yetcetera.. Seren(the sensible team senior and all that jazz) approaches scantilly clad waiter(SCW)

Seren :" Hi "
SCW: Blahhety Blahetty
Seren: *Switches off and wonders if there are any matri men lined up for the weekend .. face crumples a little*
SCW: *Beam*
Seren: *Glare (result of matri men thinking)* " We had reservations for 20 under the name of A"
SCW: *Looks into notebook and beams* "I'm sorry , I dont think you made any"
Seren: "I'm sure we did , please re-check , and is there any other person who takes reservations?"
SCW: "No .. you didnt are you sure you made it for today and not tomorrow"
Seren:"Tomorrow is Saturday" *QED*
A comes along and says she can prove she called him , he just needs to check his received calls on his mobile.But obviously SCW is too busy to be doing all that.
So we land up in the disco place.Dont laugh.
So now we're entering a tunnel which I think was supposed to make some dim-wit on her date with another 18 something dim-wit boyfriend go 'Oooh honey, hold me , I'm sooo scared'... ok now theres a weird spotted yellow fake cobra gaping at me from the roof ....hmm ... yellow lights...blue lights...ooh here we are!
I look around me .. theres ying yang painted on the roof with disco lights glaring at them ...karmic disco maybe? .. then theres silver foil wrapped all over the AC ducts.. now thats just poor maintainence.. and theres a fake tree with yyyes disco lights and cobras... hmmm maybe discos come with jungle themes and all .. who knew!I finally seat myself with whatever dignity I could muster and who do I see next to me? My super senior tech manager who gave me the 'Oh the kids of this generation' look.
BAH wonly.
My rating
Food --> 3.5 /10
Ambience--> -infinity
---> The displaced red thing is the 'in case of emergency' button on the treadmill at the gym .. sheesh wonly!










Thats the pool that belongs to the company behind ours ..but just imagine jumping into a pool fully knowing that people from 7 floors of 3 companies might be watching you :O
The pic on the right is the view SRC and I have while we sip our evening coffee , its a view of our 'football ground'.I know.It sucks ..but the new campus promises better things!SRC and I feel like God as we look at people from the chrome windows.. ah you cant see that I see and you all that kinda kick.We frame stories , espy cows near the green clump ,at one time we to see flights take off the from the old airport as well.

And oh , watched Jaane Tu.. whats it about this movie thats got everyone raving :O.And whats with Genelia kid? Why does her voice sound so heavy and misplaced :O,Imran is fine , I thotted.What say?

Deep down ..

SnS has tagged me and has also called me 'funny' , so thats one more thing in life and blogdom to live up to.

Here we go
... round the mulberry bush mulberry bush ... ahaha ..
*Ok*
*Shuts up*

My ten dark secrets

1.I was the one who threw chalk at the Uncle downstairs when my Mom took me to visit an old play school friend.:(.I know! I was terrible as a child!
2.I was also the one who conspired with Sapatraman to empty the petrol tank from my Sanskrit teacher's Luna.:(.I was also incorrigible.This is a terrible tag...
3.I dislike fish in any form
4.I have a thing for princesses.And royalty.Really , who doesn't?I love watching shows , especially the ones that air on NDTV Good times which show the myriad halls in the somefabsounding restaurant 'Oberoi Rajvilas' ,'Oberoi Amarvilas' , the palace in Mysore , in Agra etc , which have moats surrounding the fort, 'Jacaranda' flowers in full bloom , ancient jewellery(the ones you get to see in Ganjam).Oh so sigh :).I love reading about them as well , one of the reason why I love the Feast of roses.
5.I like hugging people.I do this a lot.I think a hug can speak more than words can ever.
6.I am petrified of flights.Being suspended in thin air under the mercy of 2 human beings who are strangers to me is a scary thought.And this reaffirms my faith.
7.I hate dark chocolate.'Tis my dark secret,no?Although quite lame , no?
8.When I was around 8 or so I got into the confession box in the Church when the pastor was out.And I remember being petrified when I heard someone entering on the other side to confess..I peeped out of the curtain separating the two sides.The woman sitting there looked HORRIFIED.
9.When Viv Vi and I used to work together during Electronics Lab , Viv had this irritating habbit of sending me off to get some transistor/thyristor soldered , I'd make sure I'd dawdle , speak to the lab attender,talk shop with all my classmates and then saunter in.Just to see the look on his face. And it was so worth it.
10.When I was in school I once filled my shoes with stones coz I desperately wanted to be a junior in the sports team!I was perennially sub-junior 'coz of my height.Or the lack of it?

There! Done! This was truly therapeutic! Now , who else wants to take it up ??

All for a piece of cloth

Thy clothes are all the soul thou hast.

Author: Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher

If I had to go by the above quote, my soul would have to be a combination of the following:-

Straight cut , no flair , high collar (I turned into a nun overnight)

Ps: No offence meant to nuns or anybody who’s a wannabe nun

Weird frock like ensemble , indecent looking pot neck (more like cauldron neck)

Ensemble that refuses to budge down below neck area

Something that I could perhaps wear after I shed about 50 Kgs

Something that I could perhaps wear after I gained 50 Kgs

Something that I could never wear

Suffice to say, I have tailor problems.

My first tailor was about a Km and half away and school friend P introduced me to him. His first outfit was a Gurjari product that fit my weird-looking-teenage-just-out-PU form to the tee. It was well-cut and my friends raved about it. And I was ecstatic! The next trip to him found me beaming, gushing and ever so desperate. To cut a 5 year long story short , at the end of it I made the following observations:

He was good at only straight cut plain salwar suits which were minus hand embroidery,machine embroidery , appliqué- in short, anything that required an imagination.Hmmm..thats saying he missed quite a few classes in his tailoring school

And then all of a sudden, my stars, as is wont of stars, took a turn for the worse. I had a huge fight with him and stormed away laden with a freshly-cut-ready-to- be-but-not-yet stitched kurta and swore never to be back again.

Did you know that tailors have a rule in their rupa-new-designs-for-the-modarn woman book that reads:

‘Thou shalt not touch a garment that has been rendered cut but not stitched by a fellow tailor’ ?

Well now you do.

Weekend after weekend saw me take the frail little piece of red garment (its insides hopelessly bruised, cut and unstitched) to various tailors , big and small , from boutiques to Dress makers- we met them all. First..Second. Third opinions yielded the same diagnosis. Frail red cloth would not be touched.

And then , the same stars led me to Kapad.Not Kapda –Kapad.Kapad House. He fashioned a Kurti for me that was lacking in many areas.But then , Kapad had the emotional advantage. He had been my savior when the entire world and its sewing machine had shunned me.

Good lord , MS word wants to replace Kapad with Keypad..tch tch how insensitive

Weekend after weekend saw me handing various pieces of material stored from my no-tailor days to Kapad who was enthusiastic. Overtly so, coming to think of it.He told me he was due for a Diploma in Fashion Design and the courier guy would be honoring him with it anytime in the near future.

One, two three mishaps later, a thought started creeping into my head. Were my Kurtis supposed to make me look like I had wings for sleeves? But then, I lived on in denial.Atleast I had someone whom I could call my tailor…

Fourth’s a charm, like they say. It was a lovely sea-green material that I had lovingly bought in Madras. And now, it looked like a camping tent. Make that a camp. I rushed to Kapad and spread it on his table.

“ What is this”

“Oh madam, you remember? You came last Sunday and took it? Its your dress”

“I KNOW, BUT WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE I WANT TO COVER ASIA WITH IT”

“See madam” *Brandishes his measuring tape* “ Your waist is x ,and so is this, neck is y and so is this , hips are z and so is this..”

I looked on patiently and said “Yes , but where is the cut??”

“What cut madam?”

“For once , we agree!”

“See madam , it is cut according to your body shape!”

“YES! EXACTLY! If I were proud of my body shape, why do you think I’d be searching heaven and earth for a good tailor you nincompoop!!I’d wear a banian.AND you charge me like I were to be a queen .. like I’m Miss Chola or something!! And you can’t cut a simple piece of cloth!!”

Yes, I stormed away.

Again.

And then I found ‘Kaya , every woman’s desire”. She charged me 450 Rs to “design” a kurti. It’s called differently in different parts of the world. Its not her fault , really.Over here , we call it a “choli”

Choli

a short-sleeved blouse, often one exposing part of the midriff, worn by Hindu women in India. Also,cholee.

She calls it a kurti.

A rose by any other name , would fit you would think?

SIGH.

To my first best friend

To
-The girl who taught me how to balance on a new BSA SLR
-The girl who could barely suppress her laughter when she saw me hiding under the cot when her Music Teacher went Sa-Pa-Sa
-The girl whom I met every single day for 10 long years
-The girl who felt the same anguish and hurt as I did when we got invited to a party and the host forgot to give us dinner
-The girl who shared Van Number 2 with me for 10 long years
-The girl with whom I conspired, confided and trusted my deepest darkest deeds with
-The girl with whom I jumped into a overhead water tank with
-The girl whom I helped re-unite with the "love of her life" (and many more to come)
-The girl who once told me very simply "There is something about you that feels right" before pouring her heart out to me.Even after 5 long years of not meeting each other.

To,
The girl who will always be my first best friend.

From
The girl who will always be your first best friend.

Happy Birthday Suppi! :) have the greatestmostfantasticallyyummybirthday!Yes! We are exactly 6 months apart! Yes! We're practically twins :)

Love ,

Me

Friday

I love fridays , ever since I've joined mera company strongesht.My manager has been working from his hometown for the past month and nothing could be more blissful than a cloudy Friday morning although I was actually getting to work.So there I was chugging and humming along and what do I see? The turning that leads to my campus is being blocked by the police.
Poleeceman: 'Munde Hogu' --Sail forth
Seren:'My company is on this road , what do you mean munde hogu'
P: 'Kannada balaralwa? Goings goings goooooings'
So I goed.

I goed a little more and the story repeated.And the next.And the next.

Oh goodie , I'm allowed to make a turn now ... ok ..no U turn? ....only right turn ?Now I'm inside the HAL airport? Err? EH?

We're made to stop inside the HAL airport where 3 gazillion cars and scooters are all lined up.With their ignition off , and that is a terrible sign.

The first person to respond was Mr.Goatie beard in an auto behind me.
Goatie Beard to Me: 'What's happening ?'
I tried to look my sarcastic best , rather unsuccessfully from behind a scarf and a helmet before turning away.
Goatie Beard to Bike guy next to mine: 'What's happening ?'
Bike Guy: *Politely* ' No idea , dude'
GB to BG:'Are you in the same campus as I am?'
Seren: *Rolling her eyes inside the baking scarf and helmet*
BG: 'Yes , come hop in , I'll drop ya!'
The scene that ensued was hilarious!
GB to auto driver: ' I will get down here'
AD: ' Saar , you are the reason why I'm stuck here saar , else I would have got better sawaari(auto rider) , and now you are the putting ditch'
GB:' I will give you 5Rs extra'
AD:' Saar beedi(a thin, often flavored, South Asian cigarette :D) also not comes saar for 5Rs'
GB:' Its 5 or nothing'

Cut to scene #2.
GB sitting behind BG
AD glaring at GB
GB pretending AD doesn't exist.

By this time , bike guy in front got hysterical.
'Seems there's a VIP coming because of which we're being cooped here!
Some more yells from bikers around
'We pay taxes , we're office goers , why can't the VIP come night $%$%$'

****************************************************************

I reached office around 11 only to find out that a team lunch was being organized to 'Jalsa'. I kept thinking the name sounded awfully familiar when I realised it happens to be the name of AB's house!Its a mughlai themed restaurant which resembles a set from Jodha Akbar! It even had a huge movie screen playing songs from Umrao jan and JA..



<----These are the couple seats!





Any guesses as to what this could be --> ??
The plate!







<---A cool looking goblet








Reached office by 3.30Pm , had coffee at 4:30 , set out homewards 5:30 PM!
Yesterday.
Blissful! :)