A trip to Kerala

Happy New Year deeeer readers :) , here's wishing all your dreams ,hopes, aspirations come true! What did you guys do on 1st night? Me?Well, errm I slept.No, not 12.At 10.There's only so much of Ronit Roy dancing that you can take, no?

A lot has been happening that I haven't updated you on.One of them being a trip to Kerala.Needless to say , it was beautiful.Munnar has no specific place that you need to stop and take pictures of.Every bit of Munnar is breathtakingly beautiful.Now I know why all the mallus I know call themselves Keralites with pride.

Day 1:Munnar.
We had made reservations at the Royal Retreat.The hotel is situated atop the Kannan Devan Hills.The hotel itself is very quaint ,picturesque and extremely clean.There is no specific place in Munnar that you can call scenic , every stop seemed straight out of a picture post card!
But oh! The food .. BIG PROBLEM.I thought I was being smart when I had listed down all the vegetarian joints in Munnar , only to find the Saravana Bhavan there is a fake one , and had nothing to do with the original!And guess what happened at a restaurant the driver forced us to get into!
Seren to Waiter : Ermm can you please clean the table?
Waiter: "It is clean"
Seren:"No , it isn't.. there are rice grains all over the table cloth!"
Waiter: *Promptly takes out the table cloth with a sweeping gesture , dusts everything to the floor and puts it back with an Einstein expression on his face*
Seren: *Stomps to the door*

The drive from Munnar to Thekkady is just breathtakingly beautiful ... endless green mountains , tea plantations , flowers in every possible color in full bloom , fresh air , and little waterfalls and dams tucked away here and there.It is precisely then that you ask yourself a question: What the hell am I doing slogging away my night and day in the 10th most polluted city in India, when all I needed to do was to buy a little cardamom estate right here by that nook, drink bad coffee, sip nice cardamom tea(home grown),have wild rice for lunch and call my Dad Achan.
Ans: The said estate would cost about 20 lacs and that doesn't even include maintenance and the fact that I have just one use for cardamom - In my tea.

Day 2: Thekkady
The Kathakali Centre day,the highlight of the trip.We were called one hour before the act so we could watch the artists dress up.
Altoid:"Whats happening Seren?"
Seren:*Hushes two american kids who dared to laugh at the 'artist'* "Can't you see? *Hushed tones* The artists are dressing up !"

The male artist(MA) finished with his green make-up and started to fervently tie a fat rope around his belly.The ticket issuer guy(TG) started to insert empty cement covers and rice bags under the rope.Ta-dah! This is what flairs are made of.

The artists:

MA : Male Artist

FA(Duh):Female Artist who is actually Male

The story:

This performance revolves around the story of Narakasura, a vicious demon and Jayantha, the valorous son of Indra (King of Devas). Nakrathundi, Narakasura’s sister gets attracted to Jayantha and approaches him in the guise of Lalitha, a beautiful woman. Jayantha rejects her love and the disappointed demoness takes her normal form and attacks him. He injures her and a shocked Narakasura vows to take revenge, only to find himself punished for his wrongs.

The performance commences to a very enthusiastic audience.MA quivers eyebrows , cheeks , nose,eyebrows and every quiver friendly facial part to show that he obviously is Narakasura.Meanwhile , Narakasura’s sister(FA) winks(??),raises eyebrows coyly,winks again,pouts with large orange lips,feigns a kiss and yes , winks again.I had expected Kathakali to be a lot different from Bharatanatyam , but for the life of me , I could'nt imagine even a demon's sister breaking into a majestic-hooligan-going-aie ice ice baby act.

Winking? Really?

Ok, FA was now prancing around the stage lustilly winking, quivering,shaking hips and winking all at once.She was in lowww , mind it.

My gaze shifts to MA , he is eh??? Adjusting his nails and his costume calmly..like oh where am i? Oh right, the stage.If u don't trust me , look at the pic on the extreme left.

I was getting rather bored with all the quivering when a diversion came in the form of a late comer.He calmly walked up to the stage and asked MA where his seat number was.MA stopped quivering , ushered him to the right row , walked back to the stage , put his feet up on the stool(prior to the diversion he had had one leg up on a rock), adjusted his flair and sword and continued quivering.From this angle , one of the aforementioned cement covers screamed out an advertisement for Coramandel Cement.I looked on in disbelief.

At the end of the 'performance' , the stage was thrown open to anybody who wanted a picture with the 'artists'.MA and FA quivered some more as the honeymooners hugged them and each other and said 'Cheese'.

I avoided Alto's smirking eyes on the way out and shushed my Dad rather loudly for wanting to come back for a Kalaripayattu show.

I was quite looking forward to the trip back to the 10th most polluted city.

Day 3:Thekkady

Periyar Wildlife Reserve.Altoid and I rented binoculars which costed about 100 bucks for two hours.The boat took off and I enthusiastically started scouring the lake with my binocs.Just then , a family of about 20 plus who were seated next to us went 'Bete bete kya karen , karna hai kuch kaam ..lallalala .. antakshari leke prabhu ka naam'

I set aside my binocs and concentrated on the yes .. of course!The honeymooners.Needless to say , we spotted no tigers.

Day 4: Allepey

We had rented out a speed boat for about 3 hours.And I must say , this was more soothing than the much touted Ayurvedic Massage that Kerala is well known for.While I'm on this I must tell you about this conversation that my Dad had with the driver who took us around.

Driver:" Seren and Alto , how about going to the ayurvedic massage centre"

Alto whispers to Seren: " Say no , that place looks shady"

Driver to Dad:"Achan(great , now the driver is our brother?), shall we go?"

Achan:"Sure , I've never seen a massage"

Seren:" Achan , you cant see a massage , its not like a museum tour.You need to get one"

Achan to Driver firmly:"Then , no"

Seren:*Makes mental notes to tell Mom about how Achan wanted to see a massage..hmm*

Ok , back to the backwaters.Alto enjoyed it the most , I think.She always has this list of things she wants to do and apparently the backwater tour was one of them.Really , I have no tongue in cheek comments about the cruise.It was the perfect ending to a perfect trip.

A lot of houses are situated either on islands or simply bang in the middle of the backwaters.. the people living there work on the paddy fields nearby and sell coconut water to the boatees(people on the boats:D).The boater(:D the guy who boatfied us around) stopped running the motor and our boat was generally bobbing around aimlessly.I looked around wondering at the life people led here, so different from the crappy things that I did back home ,so different from my world of incessant cribbing.

"Ipdiyum oru olaham irukuma?" (Like this also one world-a?)

Its that day of the year ..!

A hurried visit to the tailor , lying about the date , hurrying back with a newly stitched unironed Kurta = lots of effort+300 Rs







Two wooden block prints bought at Dastkar Mela , Chitrakala Parishat+ Fevicryl Fabric Paint +Wooden bangles bought at Fab India= Rs 500

A perfect ensemble all ready for the birthday = Priceless

Happyy Birthday to me !! :)

guess what happened

TGIF..

Terribly over loaded this week :D

Sometime last week we had a late night call , and I had booked a cab at 9:30 PM.The call got over sometime around 9 and I was walking towards the pantry for a cup of coffee.Our floor is the first .I was walking all weary eyed towards the window with my cup , when I suddenly saw a pair of bright headlights zooming towards me at breakneck speed.I stood rooted to the spot.I was on the first floor , how does that explain headlights at my level??

9/11? Was it a plane? Was I gonna die??

Then I realised ...

That we have a building with multi-level parking in front.

:D

On a more serious note , I am disgusted and sad at the same time , with whats happening with the world.There must be some form of retribution for this dastardly act.

A tag and then some

Alto has tagged me , or rather I forced her to .
So here goes,

My oldest memory:
Is of putting my hands between the elevator doors while on a visit to our relatives place in Bombay.Amma said ' DONT put your hands between the doors' and at that moment I did do exactly that.
....Tch Tch , Amma never ever learnt , did she ?

Ten years ago:
I was younger , a lot more naive , a lot more innocent and a great deal more irresponsible.
Ahem. Yes.I would like to think I conquered all that.

My first thought this morning:
Do you think the alarm is going to ring now? or now? .. now?


If you built a time capsule, what would it contain:
Hmm ..mt family my wardrobe , my trinket cases , my mobile .. you know what , it would have my house in it .. and the garden .. and my CAR .. and my bike .. and ..

This year:
Has been the 'One with the big ones' ;)

14 years from now:
I will be SO old!! And so will u! And so will our blog :)

I pass this tag on to Amma , she might like to do it.

On other news.The company transport sucks and there have been many heated exchange of mails , and I did put my rather caustic tongue to good use , wanna see how ? :)

My partner in crime was S , who managed to unearth about a zillion odd reasons and quite a handful of fancy sounding words like 'fulfill our duties at work and home' 'disruption of mental state' 'no state to apply mind and soul' koff koff and the likes..Here's a snippet ...

1. The cab did not turn up on Friday, 31st of October. We were told to huddle up and wait for one. We were doing this for more than an hour, and then decided that it was useless to just huddle up and wait for a cab to turn up. We had to barge into the first empty cab we saw after 7, and asked the driver to take us to our destinations. Thankfully, the driver obliged.

So much, for organized transport!! Please note, we were waiting till 7, for something to be organized. I reached home at 8, I am not sure what time the last person to be dropped that day reached!

2. Monday morning.. A 52 seater bus turns up, late, that too, to pick about 20 of us who use the cab service. The driver is super slow. Since it’s a bus, we have no hopes of being picked up at our respective stops, because the bus cannot go in small roads!! We were also not dropped at our stops for the same reason. Many of us had to take auto back home. We reach office and home late that day.

3. Tuesday morning.. The bus is late again! My pick up is at 7.42. The bus came at 8.05. I was dropped at Le Meridian, so I am not sure about yesterday's experiences.. I am sure people would like to add to the continuing list of woes.

4. Wednesday.. No surprises here. The bus was late again. It turned up at 8.05. I am not sure what time I will reach home or where I would be dropped!

Please note, for route 25, we would be picking up people even at 8.15 with this new system. We reach office at around 9.15, against 8.35 (our previous cab used to be here by that time).

Please understand that there is no way a person can be in a state of mind to work, after waiting for his/her cab for 15-20 mins and sitting in the cab for more than an hour. This has been affecting productivity to quite an extent. Many of us have things to do when we get back home and families to attend to. If our return time is 7.15 - 7.30 (as is the case for the past couple of days), we would be too tired to fulfill our duties at home too.

To which yours truly replied :-

"I’d like to add some more detail for what happened on Friday before I get started on the other days.5:40 Pm is surely not the time to be putting up stickers on the buses , so much so that we had to organize search parties for our buses. And added to that , the drivers of the cabs were plain rude and refused to take us on the assigned routes. Some of our friends had to hijack buses only to find the driver walk away. I understand that there might be a few hiccups when the vendor changes, but in this case, we had absolutely no one around who was trying to even help us out until came.

Regarding the present bus for Route 25 , the present bus is too huge for us 10 or 15 people. The bus takes forever to reach office/home and I would suggest a smaller vehicle which could reach faster. My stop is at 7:50 and I reach there a good 10 minutes early because I have no idea when the driver might turn up , on Monday he turned up at 8:25."

Two days later , I was waiting at my stop when I saw Juniper's cab go by , ok 2 mins more to go I thought.Nokia's was next and then Philips' and no sign of my big green unwieldy bus.And then , the ming started squealing.
'Get into the Sumo behind you' said a disembodied voice.
Seren: *Sinister voice* 'Who is this and what do you want!'
DV: ' Aren't you Seren'
Seren ' I might be '
DV: ' Eh? Get into the Sumo!'
Seren: ' I will not do that!! I shall call the police!!' *panic stricken*
DV: *Obviously a tam* ' Aiyoh! Kaduvule! Madam , we belong to the company transport dept! We changed the vehicles for your route'
Seren:*looking sheepish* ' Ehehe..ehhehe .. jesht kidding ..hehehe'

I get into the Sumo and ask the driver to please put up the print out that reads my route number and company name.. for some weird reason , he's sporting a peaked cap and a jacket with the collar turned up ..then my eyes wander to where the driver's credentials are listed..

'Ace Detective Agency' it screams .. 'If he’s anywhere in the universe, we’ll find him'

I rest my case.They had to hire a detective agency's cab?

Really?

Of walks and bungalows

Yesterday was the kind of rainy day that reminded you of a rather annoying relative.The one that would crib in your ear constantly while you watched the proceedings of your cousin's wedding.Anyway , the point being yesterday morning was irritatingly rainy.Although the rest of the day made up for it.

SRC and I set off on our post-lunch walk at 1:30.We scoffed at everybody who was piling into the office when they could've set off on a lovely walk like we were.SRC said something to the effect of age and marriage doing that to people.In my hurry to catch the cab(owing to the irritating morning) , I had forgotten to wear a belt.So I hurried behind SRC while holding on to my jeans.

The walk was strangely peaceful.Without random voices talking about releases , builds, bugs , defects and everything else that is akin to an IT conversation.Just then,the cloud above us jiggled its belly and sent a huge shower our way.We ran towards a construction site ,and this is what we found.





Men at work ...















Toiling hard at what kids their age do best ...

Play!








**************************************************************************
SRC , Gee and I make up stories while we are on these walks.There are a couple of lovely bungalows next to our campus (It being a special economy zone or some such).Apparently the sites cost the Raja's turban , his crown and even probably him.There is one beautiful bungalow that we spotted on one of our walks.I cannot stop raving about this house , remind me to when we meet , if ever we do that is.While we are on that , why didnt ANY of you comment on my Dostana post? Tell? Considering it was my best friend forever's wedding eve and also considering that I was so depressed.BAH.Hmph.
Anyway , coming back to the house , what is it you say? You didnt know what to say?Well of course you didnt.Which is why you didnt.Hmph.
Okkk now , the house.Its this heavenly looking house , and guess what!The designer has incorporated a boulder ,yes you read right.There's a little boulder thats been included along with the compound walls ... almost as if the compound is hugging it and saying come come , we be bhai-bhai.There is an open space on the first floor thats covered all over with bamboo blinds , and a huge portico that has wooden pillars ,stained glass windows, chimes.. oh so sigh, I could go on.We came up with random theories for the owner of the house.That it belonged to a successful,single,independant woman in her late 40's .. the Dimple Kapadia slash Rekha kind.I offered that it could belong to a Rekha kinda woman , who probably taught Kathak on the portico.It could also belong to a thirty something man , successful , cool , sauve , with elements of Farhan Akhtar in him , the kind who went horse riding early in the morning(heavily inspired by Agatha Christie , Daphne Du Maurier and the likes).I wondered if he would also have a philandering brother who tried smuggling diamonds from Kimberley which was the reason why the boulder was where it was?Gee thinks I should marry the horse rider and invite her home and give her some diamonds.SRC meanwhile keeps looking out for a pair of mynas and she invariably spots a lone myna and curses out loud that her release is going to be doomed because of the silly myna that forgot its pair.

Its lovely to be 13 again.

Dostana

Vi gets married tomorrow morning and strangely, I feel calm. Maybe a little hollow as well. All this while, I figured it would happen to us someday. But even nowI feel its not the right time, I do not want to let go. Just yet.
(Hey Vi! I know I know my exact words were “Shut Up and get married” but it was the right thing to do and all that blah). I cant believe I’m spouting all this gyan when ahem my exact words 5 years back were :-

18/12/2003 12:18
To:
cc :
Subject : me jittery

Hello Vi!,
I still have lots to do.But am gonna chuck most.I have to accept I CANT do it.There is just so much that I can mug:(.Im getting nauseous.I have this familiar sense of having to mug,reminds me of coll.U silly thing,why the hell are u in 2loos(errr … she went onsite to a place called Toulouse in France) when yr supposed to be here to cheer me up(glares at you).To this ur gonna reply
"U will manage fine "No I shant manage fine, stamps feet.and yr marriage plan ----------BAD IDEA
And oh I dreamt of u yesterday.U were getting married to that guy u said ud meet after u come back.I think I hate him already:(

Ahem.Post 5 years , my punctuations have improved and I sound a lot less like a fresh out of college kid. :) .Every other emotion still remains.
I had so many things that I wanted to pen down in this post. But strangely , I feel I’m on mute.Like the wise man said , “Do not speak unless you can improve the silence”.But who listens to wise men , anyway!So here goes!

Lalbagh , early morning walks , sandwich sessions at South Hall , Bike rides to places that were termed “ Shopaholic’s heaven’ only to discover newspaper advertisements can be bought , saree picking for ethnic day , classmate’s wedding , neighbor’s dog’s 54th day anniversary , parceling Vidyarthi bhavan’s masala dosas because the seating queue was longer , shampoo (curly - bouncy -damage control) /serum hunting , I-want-to –find-a-hairdresser-who-maintains-length-gives-fab-cut-that-is-maintianable hunting,I-have-to-have-this-dress/top/material/kurta-coz-its-the-best-thing-that-happened-to-me-after-chocolate/coffee only to have it turned into ‘casual chilling wear I wear to Lalbagh’ the very next month, Urgent phone calls to each other asking for drops to Koramangala ‘coz the feet (the bike) had gone servicing,Tongue in cheek exchange of glances when either meets the other’s project manager while on a visit to the workplace, “Do you think grey goes better with pink/peach or does maroon go with bottle green” conversations, reliving exam nights , project nightmares , talking non-stop about Viv’s crushes , talking about Viv,Shopping for Viv and sending him approving glances coz he bought whatever we ordered him to , wiping off a tiny tear when Viv sailed off on his shiny-grey-bike on the last day he was in India,Chattering with the PPP and never ever wondering if she/us made any sense and whether we were chattering about the same thing,… worrying, worrying some more :), never ever talking about ‘life’ and ‘what’ it had in store for us , we surely had better things to do and oh heck , it wasn't for us to decide.. all this and so many many more. They will all be missed. For some time … till you’re back , Vi.:)

Here’s wishing you a very happy married life and here’s wishing you everything that's lovely , great and out of the world!

Signing off with lines from one of the recent songs I love listening to

Tu hai to
Ulti pulti baatein
Seedhi lagti hain
Tu hai to jhoote moote waade
Dushman ke iraade
Sachhe lagte hain
Jo dil mein taare waare de jaga
Wo tu hi hai tu hi hai
Jo rote rote de hansa
Tu hi hai wohi

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai to I ll be all right
I ll be all right
I ll be all right

Sunday funday

Yesterday , Appa had gone out of town to visit his cousin.That meant Amma and I were going to have an MTR breakfast -probably the only time Amma doesn't drag herself on a walk , she zips across Lalbagh to reach MTR at lightning speed before the rava idlies and dosas get sold out.
I , on the other hand achieved a new milestone.I took the car to the gym.At 8:30 AM.Then , I circled the area around the gym 351 times before I found what I thought would be the ideal place for me to park.In front of a temple.It was already 9:13 AM.I walked 2 Kms to reach the gym. I had just started jogging on the treadmill when I wondered if
1) I had locked the car
2) If I had left the window open and/or locked the car
3) If some random pervert had scratched my car/broken the mirror/hit my bumper/had gained access into the car and was waiting to jump at me.
4) If I had parked under a coconut tree.

I ran back to find the lil fella standing innocently, with his hind part tending towards the foot path and the front gaping at the middle of the road.Hmm.. next milestone would be to learn parking proportionately.Not as if I had had a random urge to switch off ignition and run away.Hmmm..


Towards noon , the mithaiwaala instincts in Amma and me were aroused.We decided to make 'Shahi Tukda'. Off I trotted to get full cream milk and bread.I placed my order and while I was waiting , a woman holding a baby came in accompanied by another lady.The baby started wailing and pointing towards an ice-cream cart when suddenly the other lady made a sweeping gesture and hid her purse while saying to the baby
'Oh look , that pigeon took away my purse , how can I buy you your ice cream now?'
The baby looked at her very suspiciously and then at the poor pigeon.Then , it looked at me to make sure.I didn't want to lie to the baby , so I grinned and touched its cheeks.
So now , the poor baby thinks all pigeons are thieves.Such a sad lesson for the baby to learn ,no?
BANG , 3 years later truth will suddenly dawn on the baby and I just hope sweeping-purse-lady will not be around to face the music.Hmmmm...

The Matrimony Chronicles -II

Well , hello .Can you tell me who is the point of contact God who is in charge of matrimony? Well that some one has a SERIOUS problem with me.

So as of now,in my kitty I have 4 prospective grooms , the imperative word being prospective.We are not all that nonchalant about it as we make it out to be.Sometimes , we get interested in the said grooms.Like the other day , a conversation with PPP went as follows.

Seren: "Amma , some TamSoundingName has mailed regarding his son , says he has already talked to you"
PPP:*Looking up from her crossword* "Really ? Who is he?"
Seren:"You dont know?"
PPP:"Ohh .. yes ... is the great grandad from Gopichetti?"
Seren:"Do you think Yahoo could trace back his mail to that place? His mail doesn't really go "I am tamsounding name , great grandson of tammersoundingname from Gopichetti whose great great grandson we are searching an alliance for .."
PPP:*Looks observantly*" You are getting older and more and more bitter.."

Another went ...
PPP: "The boy wants to meet you"
Seren:"Sure, just let me know his name , I cant really go "Hi boy , me girl" "
PPP:*Looks a little concerned*"The boy said he leaves for office at 12 PM everyday"
Seren:"Ok"
PPP:"Do you think he really has a job?"
Seren:"You didnt ask him where he worked??? and I need to meet boy??

The cherry on the icing so far has been a mail that I received today.Now, my profile mentions the name of mera company shtrongesht and this is why the mail went thus ...

"You seem to be deeply embedded with the DSP's and looks like signals from me are too weak to breach the SNR levels ..."

For the uninitiated SNR stands for Signal to Noise Ratio and it basically determines the strength of a signal ...

If I have to keep polling once in a while I may have to raise interrupt again [though not indefinitely, once battery drains, signals transmissions will cease].

Dearest God-of-Matrimony,

I had asked you for a man with a sense of humor .. now did you really have to insert the word warped there? Tell me??? Tell me?

Phat

:) We never tire of this topic , no? Hug Hug! .. oh by the way i aveabadgold... pliss to move farther.

So what happened now on the matri front? So , PPP went and got 3 horoscopes matched and came.And she was referring to her little diary called Alliances for Seren to call them up.Strictly in descending order of the horo match.

PPP: "Hello ... is this Mrs.TamilSoundingName"
TSN: "Yes , indeed" (Post British Raj upbringing)
PPP: "How do you" (Not to be outdone)
TSN: "I am doing very well , how about you"
PPP: "Me too"
*Stony Silence*
PPP: "The horoscopes of Seren and your son have matched"
TSN: " Oh thats great , there's a minor clarification, though"
I looked on amusedly while "Potential post feed" flashed in my head.
TSN: " Errm .. Seren doesn't really look thin in her matri profile"
PPP: " Yes , we never said she was thin .. but she isn't fat either ..."
TSN: " Yes.. but my son is very particular that his future wife should be thin atleast before marriage , so that even if she puts on +5/10 Kgs after marriage , she will still look right.And he really does'nt want to reject a girl after meeting them"
PPP: " Alright , Mrs.TSN , I see no point in proceeding further ...good day"
TSN: " If you could give me her weight , maybe I could talk to him about it"
PPP: " Just a moment , I shall hang up ever so gently so that I could go look up on my daughter's BMI"

And who says this woman is the mother of a "daughter"??

Yes , I'm terribly glad for God's small mercies.

And we just trotted right into Seren's heart...

We just lost our heart to this lil blushing red guy .. :).YES! We bought a car! A hyundai i10 Magna ... which we can't drive too well .. but oh hell , we be soo appy!
Don't worry little car of mine , I shall protect you as much as I can , and I shall try to be as painless as possible.I feel like I'm your Ma for some odd reason ..Oh goodness , having your own child is gonna be a million times worse eh?? 3rd August will be earmarked as well