Lets make it short - I

“Amma … I’m leaving for work, come and shut the door”
“Mini , has Adi left too?”
“ I’ve no clue Amma , just check if his laptop is still in the room”
“Really now, what kind of generation are we living in, in our times we used to know our husbands by the beat of his heart”
“Right.Bye Amma”


“Coffee?” pinged a message from Surya. It was 11 already? God , and she had’nt even started on that document .. when was the team meeting due …oh right , Friday.
Mini started walking towards the lounge to find Surya leaning against the bay window, their regular coffee hang-out.
“Whats up, Sue??”
“Nothing much, the usual, met another matrimony guy ..”
Mini smiled. “This must be the better of the phases?”
“Mini , he’s this numerology freak and he thinks I must change my name to Suryaa Kumari , like the name isn’t bad enough already!”
“Maybe that's one of quirks .. what does ..”
“We should so go shopping today , Mini!! There’s a cottage industry fair at M.G.Road!!”
“ No Sue .. it might rain and Amma might get really worried ..”
“Oh come on Mini , I’ll drop you home!”
“…”
“AT your door-step?? And do pranams to your mother in law so she doesn't think I’m a muscle oozing yellow tee shirt wearing moustache endowed man??”
Mini dimpled.
“Can anyone really say no to you when you’re in one of these moods?”


“Yeh kitna bhaiyya?” That was Sue picking a horrendous looking yellow and pink “Ikat” duppatta.
“Sorry , memsaab no for sale hum pack up kar rahein hain”
“What!? What kind of salesman are you??”
“Woh humne socha train 9 bhaje ko tha , ab patha chala 6 bhaje ko hai madam …miss ho gaya tho bahut gadbad hojayega”
It was already 5 and the poor man was frantically stuffing all his wares into gunny bags and looking hassled.
“Come on Sue , lets help him..”

Mini and Sue bundled the rest of the clothes into sacks while the salesman went in search of an auto.
“You know what ,Minzie , we could steal a dozen of these Ikats and he would never know!”
“Which is why God sent him back with an auto.. quick bundle them all in with him”
“Bahut thank you very much madam , aap ka patha dedo , hum call karega , agli baar sale hua tho..”
“I just have my visiting card .. yeh rak lo..” said Mini with a smile.
“Happy Journey!”
“I’m too famished now Minzie , lets just head home ?”
“ Yes , please.”


“Mini...” called out Amma as she came out into the garden with two steaming cups of coffee. The afternoon sun trickled down the branches of the mango tree making little patterns on the book that Mini was reading.
It was coming… She felt it .. Now…?
“How’s work going on , Mini ?”
“Its ok Amma, a little stressful”.
This said, would definitely clinch it.
“Its time you and Adi settled down and had children”
“Yes, Amma”...Did that sound too mechanical?
She added with a smile “Soon you will be playing with your grandchild on this very swing!”
“When did Adi say he would be back from his tour? In 3 weeks? Seems by far the shortest tour he has been on…
Mini?? Oh well.. go on with your reading , I’m going inside”

February 3rd , 12:00 AM
Her cell phone started blinking silently.
Mini covered her hand over the mouthpiece while grinning into it.
“Sue!”
“Happy Birthday , Minz .. Have a fantastic year ahead!”
“Sue , you could have told me this on a less absurd hour? Thanks so much for the wishes…”
The third of February. A day whose mention always had a ring to it. Her birthday.

She reached office early. On birthdays and wedding anniversaries Amma strictly forbade her from coming into the kitchen.

“Mini madam, aap ke liye parcel hai”
Who could it possibly be she wondered idly as she signed the counterfoil.No.. wouldn’t he be in transit..?
It was a brown paper parcel which read “Yamini Rao” in hindi.She opened it to find a beautiful hand woven ikat scarf in brilliant shades of red and orange. Atop it, was a letter.
It read “ Is saal ke pehle batch ka pehla piece.Us din ke liye shukhriya”.It signed off “Barabankiwaala”

It was going to be a Happy Birthday after all.

The Bachelorette

Its been almost 2 months and a half that I have been in Umrica , and I feel like I've belonged to my hotel room forever!I have loved it so far , the long early morning walks listening to the iPod with the fresh wind on my face , the late evenings , coming home and cooking up whatever catches my fancy , sipping coffee while devouring Ponniyin Selvan. I think its the silence that I like most.The feeling of living with just myself.And I mean it in a non eerie way.There is the space and the silence and there's me and there's me again. :) Who would've thunk !

Some of my favorite spots around my home here..yes , it can indeed be called that :)



My 7:30 Pm cup of coffee








Comfort food .. rice and spinach dal










Just back from office mess .

'Coz some of us need to live by "Because the world is always on" motto..

Identity Crisis

The other day , Altoid's close friend M invited us very kindly for lunch.After about 2 months of surviving my cooking and my colleagues' cooking..remind me to write about her sometime.. now this colleague of mine follows a very simple rule of thumb for every dish that she cooks ..
-Prepare a tadka of mustard seeds , channa dal , green chillies, red chillies,red chilli powder,garam masala, turmeric , any handy powder within a 3 metre radius
-Add to rice/subzi/semolina/vermicilli/egg mixture
-Say Fini

Ok, moving on.. M had cooked a fabulous , tasty and healthy(just the kind I love) lunch for us and just when we were lolling about the kitchen waiting for M to scoop out the ice cream for us , Alt launched on her favorite topic - Sagittarians.About how we the sagis are the out of sight out of mind variety(Now , tell me.What can I do if I choose not to miss people? Whats the point being sad about people who aren't around?Why waste a precious day being unhappy about things you can't help? Tell?).Yeah , thats when something stirred in the head.

A long time ago, I was 11.Then,to say that my sister was suffering the worst possible side effects of the terrible teens would be to understate.The Mother was , well , herself.So the two ganged up , yet again.

So , one Sunday afternoon , as I was sitting at my desk battling with a Gulmohar,the two creeped up behind me.And suddenly started talking , like they weren't aware I was around. I know! They sucked at play acting.Anyway , here's how the "conversation" went:
Alt : What will she do now?Its almost as if her whole identity has changed...
Mom: Yeah ..*err*.. correct
Alt: Who would've thought they were going to introduce a new zodiac sign!And that too called Ophiuchus!
Mom: Yes.. *err* unforutnately people born between November 30th and December 17th are now Ophiuchusites! Now , couldn't she have been born on the 18th?
Alt:OMG .. is she a cusp between this Ophi something and Sagittarius?What are the characteristics of this Ophi thing?Will all her Sagittarian traits ebb away now..?
By this time , I had forgotten to pretend I wasn't listening.. my head had turned 180 degrees and the eyes were popping out of their sockets..
Seren: Ammmaaa.. sob sob... what will I do Ammmmaa.. I dont want to be a cusb...
Amma:*Realizing that this was the most fun she could glean out the situation* Don't be silly now , couldn't you see we were playing a trick on you? Don't behave like an ass , now!
Alt: Yeah , I agree! Can't you take a joke without perennially turning on the waterworks?
Seren:*Looking very hopefully* So , this new zodiac was all fiction? I am still a Sagittarian?
Alt: Hell, no!It very much exists! Amma , say hellooooooo to our new Ophiuchusite...!!!

Yes , and my colleagues/friends wonder why I am this moody and cranky.Childhood scarring , I tell you!!

One can't have too many friends ... or pairs of shoes!

Alt's shoe fetish has caught on ... it didn't take too much effort , anyway.
Like Joey says " I'm so happy ..."*goofy smile*

The Matrimony Chronicles -The Donts

If you're sick of my chronicles , I understand your pain ,maybe this list might make you laugh.

The Don'ts

1)I understand you have a best friend and he/she's been your friend ever since you were in diapers.But when he/she said you looked best in your profile photos , they meant it with your HEAD also turned ALONG with your body.Now ,its plain scary to look at you with your body heading west and your head peering into the camera with an oh-look-at-me-im-so-dandy expression.

2)Remember Tinkle? Remember the column in which you had spot what was wrong with the picture that you saw in front of you?To quote an example .. one in which Hansel and Gretel are browsing the internet?(Ok, I made that up..hey, do you think I should send this as an entry to Uncle what-was-he? Pai? Shenoy?).Ok, come back now.Well yeah , today I saw one such pic.The guy was standing in a beach in California (next to the board that read that)and he was wearing a veshti.Next time , you might want to bring in an elephant Mr.Beach.

3)Parents of the groom, please note this.When the groom's profile reads thus: Mr XYZ , the great grandson of Sangeetha Vidwaan Nagercoil Sriman XYZnathan , grandson of violin Vidwaan from Tanjore Mr ABCswamy , son of blah blahRaman..well excuse me , this isn't the place to put in a herald..unless your son were to be Raja Raja Chola!

Which reminds me , I'm through with the 4th volume of Ponniyin Selvan.Superb read.I've decided to read the remaining two volumes sparingly .. they need to tide me through the next month and a half.

And thank you for leaving no "Thoughts" in my previous two posts.Hmph.The support is much appreciated.

I want..

to be in the cab that takes me home everyday .. its raining and its 6:15 PM , the Hebbal flyover is milling with people who use plastic covers as head-gear.. and I hear familiar sounds in the bus ; of my cab mates playing dumb charades and fighting over whether the movie they're miming actually exists .. theres "Madhura pisumathigee " playing over the FM.. i see Girl1 and Guy2 exchanging glances when their favorite songs playing .. i hear Amma calling me asking me what I'd like to have for dinner .. I eye my favorite road near Hotel Ashoka .. i peek out to see if anything interesting is on at CKP...I wish... I were home...

But I'm not ! And hence I'm planning a trip to NY tomorrow!

Jai Ho! Carpe Diem!

;) what did u think?

North meets South

Its their wedding anniversary today.I called Alto's at 6:30 AM sharp.
Me: Happy Wedding Anniversary, Appa! What did both of you do from morning?
Appa:*Pauses*
We BOTH got up.
She drank milk.
I made coffee and drank it.
She went for a walk.
I read the paper.
She's back with Alto , so now I will go for a walk.

:D , right!

Tales from Pardes-I

Its 7:45 PM and there's still daylight.My watch reads 5:15 AM.There's always this bull headed urge to do the math and calculate US time rather than reset the watch that was set in India.
Anyway , saying India umpteen times is just going to open the flood gates isn't it?So we think happy things.
Jetlag.Yesterday night , I woke up every 1.5 Hr intervals, in one such interval I noticed that the temperature sensor blinked "Please replace the batteries." , yes , it even had the full stop.And I wondered if I should call Amma(Would it be day time for her) or my sister(Is it 4AM ? That , would be day time for her).I wondered what would happen if I hadn't woken up that second 1.5 Hour interval.Would I have been hermetically sealed inside the room with a broken temperature sensor and no fresh air(when irony oh irony there were exactly 10 big trees outside my window?).But , of course!Switch off the sensor thingy(basic electronic circuit theory lesson 1) and open windows which will open exactly 4 inches upwards like the sticker on the window says.
I woke up again at 6AM and surprise surprise there was daylight.The nose had frozen though.
I reached home a couple of minutes back , after taxi driver from Pakistan Mr.Ada waved me a cheery goodbye.I fixed myself some "Tea from India" dutifully bought at the Indian Store(You know , it so ironic, back home I drink Twinings).And then I remembered the sensor needing battery.I called up the reception and promptly went for a shower.So there I was tra lalaing and there came a loud knock.Yes , of course Murphy was right.I opened the door to a cheery red capped old man.
CROM(Chery red capped old man): " helllo!!!"
Seren:"Hi!!"(This cute old thing is going to save me from being hermetically sealed etc etc)
CROM:"$##$$#$$##$$#"
Seren:"?"
Seren:"ENGLISH??"
CROM(*wincing coz of all the yelling*):"No"
Seren:*Hopefully*"Punjabi?"
CROM:"Spanish"
Seren: " Well, okay come in!"
CROM:*Peers at the sensor*
Seren the idiot:" See?It reads change battery , so will you?"
CROM:*Turns the knob towards heat and then pretends that hes feeling very very cold(crouches down on his knees and makes brr brr sounds followed by a happy face when the heat was turned up) and then turns the knob to cooling and pretends to fan himself*
Seren:"Cute old man , I know how the AC works,I didn't do that badly at college I say!!"
Seren:*Shows the message *
CROM:*Points to my index finger which has my voting mark and looks puzzled and hurt*
Seren:*Oh sheesh , how am I going to tell him I voted for BJP and thats where I got the dye!! Ammmaaa*
CROM:*Bulb switched on under the cap*"Oh.... no no!!No battery it electrical..No worry!"
Seren:*Accompanies CROM to the door and resolves to keep window open , the nose will just have to do with the freezing now , wont it!!*

At Uncle Sams'

The I is now in Umrica :)..more updates and posts to follow ..Jai ho!

Result of Matrimony Chronicles -III

Dhanya, you asked for it ;).

The story so far

Q is the latest matrimony matter.Q is phone-shy.I was supposed to meet aforesaid matter at 6.I vetoed the continental restaurant idea.As it is things are going very shamathuly, imagine meeting Q matter in Conti restaurant at 6.Nothing to eat also , no coffee also.So I vetoed.

I went about 5 minutes early and plonked myself at Vi , Viv's and my favorite table , the corner table facing the road.And conveniently got lost in Ponniyan Selvan.SMS at 18:00:00 sharp, unknown number reads(I don't store numbers until after the first meeting,no?)"I am here".I replied " :), come up I'm on the first floor".

And then Q came.And sat.And I smiled.And silence reigned.I started tapping feet to the tunes of "Jinke mari na".And then Q spoke.Two pearls dropped on to the table.

Q:"I'm a very shy , introverted,independent person"
Seren:"Hmmm..that's nice..I'm sure.."
Q:"And you?"
Seren: "I'm not shy , I think I'm an extrovert,but I'd say I was independent"
Q smiled understandingly..he knew what it was to find a fellow Independent.

The waiter who had dismissed us to be the "2 coffee-1 plate idly" variety was in for a shock.Because Q asked for the mocktail menu.Yes ,definite potential for a blog post.

The next 20 minutes went very similar to a 20-20 match.Here's how.

Q:What technology do you work on?
S:3GPP
Q:Doesn't that do technosoundingword version 3?
S:I think its version 4, not sure..
Q:It is version 3, I worked on it just last month
Score Q-1 S-0.

In an attempt to assuage the situation and not have Amma harp "But you don't give them a chance" I thought I'd shift the focus to Amma, well , she asked for it.Albeit in my head.

S:Last week , my Mom went walking in Lalbagh and a candidate came to campaign.Mom went and complained to him about the fact that she had two daughters and how unsafe it is for women in Karnataka given these situations.To this , the candidate grinned back sheepishly and mumbled that soon very soon something would be done to condone it.
(After this burst of bravado , Mrs Arjuna award came home and shivered wondering if the party goondas would be after her given she's a regular Lalbagh walker)
Q:So which party did she vote for this time around?
S:Its a secret ballot you know ;)
Score Q-1 S-1

Q:Ahem.So which places have you traveled to and what did you feel when you did.
S:I visited Agra last year and it was then that I was reading the Feast of Roses.It felt good to be visiting all the places that were spoken of in the book..But you know , I didn't really have an AHA moment when I saw the Taj Mahal , maybe owing to the fact that it was so crowded..and..
Q:Ok and which other place?
S:We visited Kerala this year
Q:I have covered the entire stretch up north and west.Only east is pending.
S:Really?I thought you said you hated traveling?
Q:Yes, I do.

Q:-infinity S:+infinity



I felt tired.This was worse than answering an interview.An hour of my life wasted right in front of my eyes...and then he bowled a googly.

Q:So, are you usually dressed like this?
S:*I looked down wondering if I forgot to wear my top.No .. didn't seem the case* "No , I dress differently in the swimming pool" (Another vain attempt at humor)
Q:Ok.. my Dad's very conservative firstly and secondly he doesn't like Iyers too much
S:Hain? *Ok and we met why?*
Q:But then , you know its all about DDLJ
S:Ok
Q:You know, convincing parents if you feel right about it.
S:Sure
Q:*Gets up suddenly as if something bit him(or hit him like I was itching to)* Let's go.
S:Yep.

Stick a fork in me,I'm done.